Elite swingers club shares strict entry rules – from age to size and hygiene
An elite sex club is very picky about the clients they let in.
The Kew's Monkey Club in Melbourne claims to be "Australia's most exclusive" swingers venue.
You can only gain access if you receive an invite, which are typically only sent to young and attractive people.
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To attend, you must be aged between 21 and 35 and willing to send in a saucy photograph of yourself to be "screened".
You won't see any blokes with dad bods inside as swingers are required to be "slim, athletic or muscular".
Meanwhile, women are told they must be between size 8 and 12.
They are also warned not to "breathe in" when taking the photos they send in.
The Kew's Monkey Club website reads: "Accordingly, we need to see photos with the current day's date on a piece of paper in your hand, face included.
"Please note we DO NOT accept photos with sunglasses on, nor do we accept enhanced or filtered photos (we want to see the real you).
"We do NOT expect you to be a supermodel!"
Those who make the guest list are required to wash thoroughly and glam up for the occasion.
The website urges: "As you are going to be in very intimate situations with other people, please make sure you shower just before coming to the party, not that morning!
"Please make sure your personal hygiene is 150%, this includes body odour, breath and genitals (Front & Back).
"Please note, anybody not adhering to the latter, will be asked to rectify or asked to leave."
You may wonder why anyone bothers with all that faff – but guests who meet the strict requirements are promised the ultimate luxury experience.
The Kew's Monkey Club states: "From the moment you arrive, you will see it is like the interior of a five star hotel.
"Upon your arrival you will be given a guided tour of the venue, which is spread over two floors, and consists of mainly open plan play areas.
"The very seductive 5-star environment is furnished with imported furniture from the UK, France and Japan, and artwork from the four corners of the globe.
"There are beautiful king and queen sized beds throughout the play areas, and our infamous 1960s Austin Power's style round bed, and so many other intriguing and erotic items too numerous to mention.
"Once you have finished the tour, the next 1.5 to 2 hours is yours to unwind and get to know your fellow playmates (which also helps to calm any first time nerves you may experience… Don't worry, nerves are completely normal!!)"
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