Inside P&O Cruises' Iona, a glamorous £730m giant of the sea

A holiday world on the high seas: P&O Cruises’ £730m Iona is the biggest cruise ship ever built for the British market, and has room for 7,000 (plus, she’s packed with cool touches and awesome attractions)

• Sarah Oliver says that the Iona is ‘glamour afloat’ after sailing from Southampton on a seven-day cruise
• Her time on Iona was action-packed – she tried a spin class, hit the roulette table, and enjoyed a cabaret show  
• One of the stand-out experiences on board was a cookery demonstration by guest chef Marco Pierre White 

The last time I set sail with my friend Fi was a rackety affair on an open boat in the Malacca Strait between Indonesia and Malaysia. We were travelling light, apart from world-beating hangovers and made-to-measure silk robes, acquired by accident in Saigon. It goes without saying, it was a girls’ trip.

Fast forward 25 years and we’re both married, sensible and count our alcohol intake in units, not jeroboams. But we’re still up for a holiday at sea – as long as this time the boat has a roof.

So we’re setting sail from Southampton on Iona, a next-generation £730 million ship that’s a-shimmer with marble, glass and chrome. She is glamour afloat, and a leviathan too: 1,130ft (345m) long and 19 decks high, with room for 5,200 passengers and 1,800 crew. This makes her the biggest cruise ship ever built for the British market.

All decked out: Iona, pictured above in the Inner Hebrides, is the biggest cruise ship ever built for the British market, Sarah reveals

Sarah on the Iona, which she describes as ‘part hotel and all resort – a whole sea-going holiday world’

Walk into its Grand Atrium and you realise she’s one of the prettiest too, her magazine-worthy interior a haze of cool, contemporary greys and pebble shades, with a jaunty dash of gold and marine blue.

This is her maiden voyage, a seven-day round trip to her namesake island of Iona in the Inner Hebrides with no disembarking because it was subject to last year’s Covid restrictions.

The question then isn’t really what the new flagship of the P&O Cruises fleet (completely separate from the beleaguered ferries arm) looks like, but what she offers. The answer is lots.

Above is the ship’s namesake island of Iona in the Inner Hebrides, which featured on Sarah’s seven-day cruise

The Iona’s Grand Atrium, which boasts a ‘magazine-worthy interior – a haze of cool, contemporary greys and pebble shades’

Above is one of Iona’s two ‘Instagram-friendly’ infinity pools – there are four pools overall on board 

Guests can tuck into ‘teatime fondant fancies’ during their time on board 

She is a place of cocktails and cappuccinos, of smart steak suppers and teatime fondant fancies. 

Iona is art gallery and boot camp, cinema and stage, an auditorium for torch songs, sea shanties and rock. She’s a beauty spa and book-nook, a gin distillery and casino. She is part hotel and all resort – a whole sea-going holiday world.

I’d like to say we tried everything, but we didn’t come close, which, it turns out, is what P&O president Paul Ludlow, sailing with us, had hoped. 

‘Iona is designed so, in the course of seven days, you cannot do it all. You have a dilemma and more choice than you can fit in,’ he tells me.

Here’s just one typical day at sea for Fi and me. Work up a sweat in a gym class; a lunchtime bowl of green Thai curry from street food avenue The Quays; rugged up like racehorses on the breezy Panorama deck gazing out to sea.

Stylish: Inside one of Iona’s Mini Suites with a private balcony. Sarah describes the ship as ‘glamour afloat’

We’d then ease into evening with a cocktail in The Sunset Bar on The Promenade Deck (party central), followed by a three-course dinner and cabaret from drag diva La Voix in The Limelight Club (high comedy, high hair, even higher camp), before tottering into a late-night movie at the four-screen Ocean Studios.

The next morning we’d start all over again, with an entirely different diary planned. 

There might be spinning, either on a bike or at the roulette table, a dip in one of the four pools (two are Insta-friendly infinity jobs); archery or short tennis up on the Sky Deck; then a teatime seat under the glass-roofed SkyDome to boggle at the aerial acrobatics.

Passengers can boggle at aerial acrobatic performances in the ship’s glass-roofed SkyDome (pictured)

Sarah and her friend tottered into a late-night movie at the four-screen Ocean Studios (pictured)

Our dinner choices stretch from fine dining in The Epicurean, which presents you with a bill at the end of your meal, and the Olive Grove, one of the excellent restaurants included in the cost of your ticket, to a basket of fish and chips at Hook, Line And Vinegar back up in The Quays.

One of our highlights of the week was a cookery demonstration by guest chef Marco Pierre White, who made seafood risotto (naturally) while telling kitchen stories. He’s worked with the cruise line for 15 years now. Best cookery question from the audience: ‘What’s your most useful gadget?’ ‘A box grater.’ Best non-cooking question: ‘Will you come for dinner with me?’ For the record, he did, inviting the happy passenger, and her mum, to Sindhu, Iona’s upscale Indian restaurant, a couple of nights later.

Also performing on our cruise were comedian Joe Pasquale and actress Stephanie Beacham, although La Voix brought ‘Tina Turner’, ‘Cher’, ‘Shirley Bassey’ and ‘Liza Minnelli’ out of her steamer trunk too.

Pictured above is the Headliners Theatre, where some of the ship’s live entertainment plays out 

Iona’s Glass House Restaurant. Sarah enjoyed everything from fine dining to a basket of fish and chips in the various eateries on board 

Former Spandau Ballet frontman Tony Hadley (the real one) was another headliner, belting out hits True, Gold and Through The Barricades, along with his own new music.

It was the kind of night to make Fi and I feel nostalgic for the years when we’d tip out of a disco at 2am and walk a mile in heels to catch a cab. Blissfully, on board Iona, no matter how late you stay up you are never more than ten minutes from crisp, white sheets and a bedtime cup of chamomile tea in your cabin.

We had a balcony twin – a blue and taupe boutique hotel-style room with crafty storage.

Iona also has an envy-inducing new grade of accommodation, Conservatory Mini Suite, with a glass lounge between the main cabin and its balcony. You can open it to create more outside space or close it to enjoy your own private solarium.

The ship’s moody 710 Club, pictured above, had passengers queuing nightly during Sarah’s voyage 

Take That star Gary Barlow (pictured) is musical director of 710 Club 

There are other leaps forward on this ship, too. She is the first British cruise ship to be powered by liquefied natural gas, which means a sizeable reduction in carbon footprint. Her restaurants, shows and activities are bookable on the P&O app which, after a rocky start, helped us manage our timings and costs. Celebrity collaborations add stardust. Alex James of Blur has curated a DJ set and laser show for the SkyDome and Gary Barlow is musical director of the moody 710 Club, which had passengers queuing nightly.

The decor, the app, these collaborations, plus the fact that Iona has full freedom dining (no set tables or times or random dining companions), are all designed to expand the appeal of a cruise.

With Iona, P&O is clearly trying to nudge down the average age of passengers to include multi-generational families and fortysomething couples, as well as luring cruise newbies like Fi and me.

The best thing about the Iona is ‘the unabridged choice of activities’ that the ship offers, according to Sarah. Above is the ship’s Beachcomber pool and bar

Sarah marked her last night on Iona by drinking G&Ts made with Marabelle, the gin that’s distilled on board

We sailed north during a week of English summer storms, only for the sun to come blazing out over Iona, turning the sky speedwell blue and the glass-flat water a rich navy. We were met by a pod of frisky dolphins and views for which the only word is ‘imperial’.

So what were the drawbacks of this contemporary cruise?

Well, if you are looking for a nostalgic, ultra-formal voyage, then she probably isn’t the ship for you because life is bustling on board.

What did I love? Most of all, it was the flexibility of those days at sea, the unabridged choice of activities and the ample time in which to enjoy them.

We marked our last night by drinking G&Ts made with gin distilled on board, another first in the world of cruise. It’s called Marabelle, Latin for ‘star of the sea’, and its botanicals include heather and sea kelp foraged from the island of Iona. On the label is a golden star map of the night sky as seen from the Inner Hebrides, and it’s such a romantic idea that Fi and I felt compelled to raise a toast to our absent husbands.

Iona is 1,130ft (345m) long and 19 decks high, with room for 5,200 passengers and 1,800 crew

TRAVEL FACTS 

P&O Cruises is offering a seven-night Norwegian Fjords cruise on Iona from £599pp for an inside cabin. Departing from Southampton on May 7, 2022, the price includes full board, meals and entertainment. Ports of call are Stavanger, Olden, Alesund and Haugesund (pocruises.com and use cruise code G213).

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